I am sitting at my desk in my office/music room trying to think of ways to encourage you.
This journey of following our bliss, our personal legend, our dream is a total adventure. And I’d like to reframe how we think about embarking on this journey. So often when we talk about taking this road less traveled, people are quick to say how hard its going to be… And occasionally there are hardships, and the unknown can be scary, but the real hardship for me was spending the majority of my time and energy doing a job I knew was not meant for me.
I knew it wasn’t meant for me because it drained me of my energy… and not in the “I’m tired and ready for a break” way. It drained me of my life blood. I lived for the weekend. I felt sad all. the. time. I felt like the person I knew I could be was a million miles away and I felt completely helpless in trying to figure out how to get her back.
I also felt full of anxiety and fear. I numbed my unhappiness with shopping, food, more shopping, TV… anything to silence the nagging voice that said, “You know your bliss, all you have to do is follow it.”
I was too scared to follow it. I was scared of the financial repercussions. I was scared of how it would effect my marriage. I was scared of where it would lead me, or where it wouldn’t lead me. I was scared of what my family would think. I was scared of what my friends would think. I was scared of failing. I was scared of succeeding. I was scared of what would happen if I fell flat on my face and everyone saw.
I let fear rule my life.
It wasn’t anyone’s fault but my own. My job was a decent one – it just wasn’t right for me. And just because something is good or good for someone else, doesn’t mean its right or right for you…
I felt like a tigress trying to be an elephant.
No matter how hard I tried to grow a trunk and big floppy ears, I still had stripes and a fur coat.
Have you ever felt like that? Like you are in the wrong space? Doing tasks that you question every step of the way because you cannot see their meaning?
I knew it in my soul, but fear did what fear does if we allow it… it won out. It kept me in a place of smallness, of doubt, of insecurity when I knew I needed to be big, and brave, and confident.
I felt like, at 24 years old, I was on the verge of a nervous break down. I remember talking to my husband and telling him, “If I don’t make a change, I think I’m going to wither away into a shell of who I was when you met me. I have to do something.”
My soul, my body, and my head were in completely different places. And looking back now to where I was then, I realize just how hard it was to step forward feeling as though I was in so many different places at once.
But I knew if I didn’t, I would lose myself.
So I stepped out. I put one foot in front of the other and I began following my bliss – one day at a time.
That led to weeks of following my bliss, which led to months, which led to years… I don’t regret my decision for one second!
I got lost in it – totally and completely lost in my bliss. Which led me to where I am now – pursuing a full time career in music and growing The REBEL Society.
I can give myself kudos for that now. My tendency is to be really hard on myself and recognize all the things I haven’t done versus what I have, but I have to stop that and start celebrating the victories along the way.
Because the thing is, one little victory leads to another, and before you know it, those little, tiny victories that you barely noticed turn into a big one.
So why am I telling you this?
Because I don’t want you to feel alone. I speak so often about following your dream and what it takes to achieve it, but I haven’t fully addressed the emotions surrounding that first step.
And the first step is always the hardest. It requires so much courage, and if we are being brutally honest, which I am, some large cojones. But we all have the ability. We all have what it takes… some of us are just more willing to step into the unknown than others.
And that’s ok. Whatever you are doing is ok. Whatever you are feeling is ok.
I just feel this pull on my heart to tell you that you can be more than ok. You can be great. You can feel so much joy that you wonder if your head is going to pop off. – And the way that you find that joy is by following your bliss. Follow whatever lights you up inside, and if you don’t know what that is, then let’s find out. Its worth the work it requires, though it isn’t really even work… Its figuring out who you are… and once you figure that out and start honoring your desires, the rest falls into place like the pieces of what you thought was an unsolvable puzzle.
You are not alone.
You have what it takes, its already inside of you.
You are amazing.
You are unique.
You are one of a kind and only you can do what you do the way that you do it.
So do it. BEGIN. Put one foot in front of the other and follow your bliss.